2-24-05

Quote of the day:"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" Henry David Thoreau

Thought of the day:I think for a lot of people, (probably more men then women) love is simply wanting someone to still be there after you cum.

2-23-05

Quote of the day:
"When Johnny and June were staying at my house, before dinner he got out a
big old Bible and had everyone hold hands and did a prayer. It was fantastic.
You felt blessed. Because he comes from such a deep place of faith, that you
know it's real. You don't have to believe, all you have to believe in is him,
and if you believe in him, you go for the ride." Rick Rubin

Thought of the day:
Good men are hard to look at.

2-22-05

Quote of the day:"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S. Thompson

Thought of the day:I find there are far better uses for my tongue then idle chatter.

In Memory; Hunter S. Thompson

In case anybody cares, he killed himself today. Makes you wonder what is worth saving."There goes one of God's own prototypes . . .To weird to live, to rare to die."--Hunter S. Thompsonps. Hunter, wherever you are, please know that it was you all along and hopefully, other's will know this, too.Love always,Ryan

2-21-05

Quote of the day:"Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation Heaven, in it's infinite mercy, sends them a nice plump missionary" Qscar Wilde

Thought of the day:I don't have time for this, pretend I said something interesting.

Ryan's Mindless Dribble #4

MINDLESS DRIBBLE #4:

"And I know life is getting shorterI can't bring myself to set the sceneEven when it's approaching tortureI've got my routine"--Aimee Mann

In my new script I deal heavily with abuse and choice. They are two reoccurring themes that, despite trying, I cannot separate from each other. Abuse is a horrible thing, but, it facinates me. Why do human beings get such a kick out of abusing their loved ones, un-loved ones and total strangers? Professionals think it has to do with issues of control (in cases of pedophilia, child abuse and rape) but I know about fifty people, myself included, who's life is totally out of control. I kind've like the fact that my life is out of control, maybe I'm alone on this but I think permanent routines (addiction, marriage, kids, house, family, heroin) eventually lead us quickly to the grave and what's more permanent then the grave? Back to the issue at hand, abuse and choice. Why do women CHOOSE to stay with a man that abuses them mentally and physically? Why do idiots like me CHOOSE to stay with a girl for five months even though {selection deleted} and she treated me like, well, not like a boyfriend? Why do people CHOOSE to beat their wife or kids? The answer is love. Love is just a word. What really matters is what definition we CHOOSE to give love. Whether the definition is perverted or empty is entirely up to us. Then again, if marriage, kids or heroin leads me quicker to the grave, anybody want to get married, have kids or inject themselves with dangerous narcotics?I didn't think so.This is not going to stop, is it? It never will.My choice is MY CHOICE.My choice is not to CHOOSE life.My choice is to abuse myself . . .My choice . . .Ry

2-20-05

Quote of the day:
"Beware of dogs" Philippians 3:2

Thought of the day:
Today I had someone tell me I looked good for my age and couldn't help but
think I'm getting old. I am getting old, my brother and sister are married and
have families. My friends are getting married or are married. It seems a bit at
times everyone grew up but me. But I'm hardly peter pan working 53 hours a
week only spend my free time with a glass of Johnnie Walker in my hand. All our
problems have become more grown up too. I see so many friends going threw
hardships that I have a clue how to help, but I try. And contrary to what Yoda
will tell you, all you can do is try. The do or do not are just the after
effect.

2-19-05

Quote of the day:
"How alike are the groans of love to those of the dying." Malcolm Lowry

Thought of the day:
If I am my thoughts, do I not become part of you by sharing my thoughts? So
do I infect you like a disease or impregnate you like a lover with my madness?

2-18-04

Quote of the day:
"In 1970, I rode 15 hours in the back of U-Haul truck to open for Roy Orbison
at the Nashville Music Fair. It was a summer night and I was 20 years old and
he came out in dark glasses, a dark suit and he played some dark music. In
74, just prior to going in the studio to make Born To Run, I was looking at
Duane Eddy for his guitar sound and was listening to a collection of Phil
Spector
records and I was listening to Roy Orbison's All-time Greatest Hits. I'd lay
in bed at night with just the lights of my stereo on and I'd hear Cryin'. Love
Hurts, Runnin' Scared, Only The Lonely and It's Over filln' my room. Some rock
'n' roll reinforces friendship and community, but for me, Roy's ballads were
always best when you were alone and in the dark. Roy scrapped the idea that
you needed verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-verse-chorus to have a hit. His
arrangements were complex and operatic, they had rhythm and movement and they
addressed the underside of pop romance. They were scary. His voice was
unearthly.
He had the ability, like all great rock 'n' rollers, to sound like he'd
dropped in from another planet and yet get the stuff that was right to the heart
of
what you were livin' in today, and that was how he opened up your vision. He
made a little town in New Jersey feel as big as the sound of his records. I
always remember layin' in bed and right at the end of It's Over, when he hits
that note where it sounds like the world's going to end, I'd be laying there
promising myself that I was never going to go outside again and never going to
talk to another woman. Right about that time my needle would slip back to the
first cut and I'd hear..(opening riff) to Pretty Woman' I don't believe you/
You're not the truth/ No one could look as good as you. And that was when I
understood. I carry his records with me when I go on tour today, and I'll always
remember what he means to me and what he meant to me when I was young and afraid
to love. In 75, when I went into the studio to make Born To Run, I wanted to
make a record with words like Bob Dylan that sounded like Phil Spector, but
most of all I wanted to sing like Roy Orbision. Now everybody knows that nobody
sings like Roy Orbison" Bruce Springsteen

Thought of the day:
So did Jesus break Mary's hymen?

2-17-05

Quote of the day:
"If you are ever in doubt as to whether or not you should kiss a pretty girl,
always give her the benefit of the doubt." Thomas Carlyle

Thought of the day:
One advantage about being a pessimist is that when something good actually
happens, it's a billion times sweeter.

2-16-05

Quote of the day:"Chaos is the score upon which reality is written." Henry Miller

Thought of the day:Life's this funny thing that happened to me before I died.

2-15-05

Quote of the day:"Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism." William James

Thought of the day:Fuck the illiterate, they can't read this!

2-14-05

Quote of the day:
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one
suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to
suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to
suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love,
or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this
down." Woody Allen

Thought of the day:
I don't know If I've ever really been in love. I've cared very deeply for
women/girls and still do. Who knows if anyone has ever loved me. To me love
isn't something you simply fall into but something you build over time and
together. You have to go threw things and find out things in order to truly love
someone. So, much like an artist paints their master piece; so, do we create
love.

Warning: I honest don't suggest anyone read any futher!

Insane rant of the day:
Fucking yippee it's Valentine's Day, I feel like I assume a Jewish child
feels on Christmas Day! I hate this fucking holiday, not just because of the
commercialized pile of dog vomit that it is, but also that it's a day to leave
you feeling as wanted as being born with a coat hanger in your head. If Cupid were
real, I'd grab that little fucker by it's wing, rip them off and bar-b-que
them. It's the kinda day that when you see some happy couple together you just
want to grab one and strangle them to death just to see the look on the others
face as you take their world from them. So to those of you that read this that
have a special someone this Valentine's Day, I say fuck off! They're probably
really gay and with luck you'll find them being sodomized today. I bet that
most people who have an STD spread it to someone before they even realize it.
Hope you get a nasty one, like a child! Think about all this today when you're
trying to "get romantic." Hell, I hope all you can think about is Jesus and
you're parents fucking. (yeah, I used the word "and" not "or") As for the rest
of you lonely miserable fucks out there, I invite you to join me in a glass of
Johnnie Walker or cyanide. Your choice! We can listen to song about heart ache
and killing someone who left you for another. You know, country music!
Today's a shit sandwich, chock on it!

Told you not to read any futher! But you didn't listen to me did you!

2-13-05

Quote of the day:"The man who does evil to another does evil to himself" Hesiod

Thought of the day:It's more then a question of can you change the world, but should you? There are people who try to change the world that I wouldn't trust to change a tire.

2-12-05

Quote of the day:
"Animals, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our
equals" Charles Darwin

Thought of the day:
I don't claim to know everything on the subject and maybe I'm wrong, but I
think it's almost impossible to live in this or probably any society without it
being at the expense of some animal. Be it food, film, medication, seats,
shoes, and more, something died for it. In many cases somthing died so that we
as humans can live. You may not even realize it. Is this wrong? Honestly, I don't
lose sleep over it. Does that make me a bad person? Does any other animal
worry about the animal it uses to survive? I always feel that I'll worry about
animal rights when human rights are not a problem, but then I could just be
rationalizing. To be honest I don't really care that much for animals. Maybe
it's because I don't have much experience with them. I eat them, wear their skin,
the seats of my car are made of them, I watch movies and take pictures with
film made from them, etc. Some people pick and choice the animals they feel
should or shouldn't be used like this. Is that any better or worst? Really in
the end we're all animals and I care as much about the pig I eat as the spider
cares about the fly. So perhaps I may just be a beast, but I think at least I
can say I'm not hypocritical about it. Am I?

2-11-05

Quote of the day:
"We are under a Constitution, but the Constitution is what the judges say it
is" Charles Evens Hughes

Thought of the day:
Is it me or should there be an age limit on using the terms boyfriend and
girlfriend? It just seems juvenile sounding to me. I'm not sure what would be a
better term though. "Love of my life" sounds too dramatic, "Life partner"
sound too gay, "Person I fuck excessively" well you can see why that doesn't
work,
"Person I settled on" too painfully realistic, "sweetheart" too sappy. I
guess it's all bullshit in the end, so what's it matter.

2-10-05

Quote of the day:
"If someone says, 'I love you,' to me, I feel as though I had a pistol
pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which
the pistol-holder requires? 'I love you, too.'" Kurt Vonnegut

Thought of the day:
You think there are a lot of older people who are pissed that it's 2005 and
we still don't have flying cars?

2-09-05

Quote of the day:
"People react to fear, not love - they don't teach that in Sunday School, but
it's true" Richard Nixon
Thought of the day:
The other night I was told I was an alien. Like one from a TV show, that
looks and kinda acts human but that doesn't quit understand humanity. I think
that
fits me pretty well. Really there is so much I don't get about this world
it's not even funny.

Mindless Dribble #3 by: Ryan

MINDLESS DRIBBLE #3this time I decided to not gripe like a madman but instead give you all a piece of my writing -- this being a piece that was rejected from publication from The LCCC Student/Teacher Newsletter. I have always liked this story, but, and this is a big but,you may not. so enjoy or hate. The Ry-Guy7.8.99"Huh . . . wha . . . where am I . . ." Strange sounds, indeed. I awoke from the haze when I felt the sun, which had risen over the mountains and was now directly in front of our vehicle, hit my face and warmed me with it’s touch. I looked over my shoulder and saw one of my best friends sitting next to me. I couldn’t quite remember his name at the time but he looked back at me and smiled. He then turned his gaze back to the road and never again looked in my direction all morning. The strange sounds I heard were comingfrom my own self. Not from the pilgrim sitting next to me. Pilgrim? Where do I knowthat word from? Damn you, History 101!I couldn’t remember anything. I wasn’t even sure what state we were in. Signs of mass consumption were everywhere in the car. Two empty packs of cigarettes were laying on the floorboard and the pain in my lungs indicated that they were mine. A fair amount of discarded fast food containers littered the back seat and the taste in my mouth led me to assume that it was me and my companion that it was me who had eaten most of it. Looking in the mirror at my face wasn’t as easy as it sounds. I couldn’t focus that well and when my eyes had finally adjusted to the morning light I caught not a glimpse at the man I once was but of the man I was slowly becoming. My eyes were as red as the wagon my father had gotten me on my eighth birthday. A two-day growth of hair was plastered onmy face and I could smell my own breath. A horrid odor was coming from my mouth andevery time I exhaled I would get a shiver down my spine. Ah, my whole life for a breathmint. These thoughts always betray me this early in the morning. Not to worry. This hasalways been my thinking but now it seems truer then true."Best not dwell on the small stuff," I said to my audience of one. I now began tofeel the pain in my back. The seat wasn’t all that comfortable to sit on but my back justcouldn’t be hurting this much from my position, could it? This question went unanswered.Did I even ask it? Never mind that now, little buddy, we have many a mile to go before you can afford to ask those types of questions and expect to get real answers. Not justthe same lame answers you get from teachers and religious types. No, these would be thereal pieces to the puzzle that dared remedied. Why does my back hurt so much? Could itbe the seat? Or the fact that I was up on my feet all night? Or was it the mass amount ofLucy I had ingested during the process of musical enjoyment? Any of these answers would be sufficient but this was a serious mission. This was my mission! A journey tothe core of this savage and hateful nation we call existence. But now my mission was lostin the fog of memory or lack there of. Why were me and my friend out here on this roadto nowhere? Replies with no answers! Bah! What’s this in my pocket? Some sort of ticket, I think. Two of them. Both different in color but the texture was the same. I could not make out the lettering becauseI had lost my powers of understanding some time ago and they showed no signs of coming back anytime soon. I held the two tickets in my hand. The right one, I think. Theleft hand always seems to heavy for proper investigation. The two tickets were not stubsbut were whole. The letters started to form pictures. Cruel pictures of lost hope and ofchildhood innocence that has since been turned into emotional hypocrisy. I knew what Ihad to do, for god’s sake. Actually, let’s leave the almighty out of this one for now. Hewouldn’t get in the way but I couldn’t concentrate without at least asking him to put outthat cigar of his. Plays hell with my asthma. Anyway, I knew what I had to do . . .I put the one ticket back in my shirt pocket and tore the other one up. These were the first real movements I had made all morning and they took a lot out of me. Itook the remains of the ticket and threw it out the window. "Easy come easy go," I saidas my friend looked at me with a queer expression on his face."Why did you do that?" I couldn’t believe what he was asking me. Who is he tojudge me or ask any questions? Indeed! "So what’s the big deal?" These words soundedto him like a mad person’s story. I could see it in his eyes."You just threw away your winning lottery ticket, man!" I was taken back bythese harsh words and thought for a second about what they meant for me and my futurein this crazy station wagon that didn’t look at all like a station wagon. I reached in mypocket for the other ticket and saw that it was still intact, despite my friend’s argument. "This is the important one," I said holding the Phish ticket in my hands. Ah, thememories came flooding in and my thoughts drifted to the next show which was only threehours away. No joy and heaven or pain in hell can come close to the joy I get from Phish.The day was young, the world is old, we were stuck in the middle and the car had a fulltank of gas. It’s good to be alive!

2-08-05

Quote of the day:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind" Dr. Seuss

Thought of the day:
Blah Blah Blah... I'm a depressing prick... Blah Blah Blah... Religion's
evil... Blah Blah Blah... Johnny Cash... Blah Blah Blah... President Bush is an
asshole... Blah Blah Blah... Girl on girl action... Blah Blah Blah... Johnnie
Walker... Blah Blah Blah... Something morbid... Blah Blah Blah... BIG ASS...
Blah Blah Blah... Jesus... Blah Blah Blah... You think this shit is easy??? Blah
Blah Blah... Sunshine... Blah Blah Blah... Something strange you don't quit
get... Blah Blah Blah... Half assed metaphor... Blah Blah Blah... Yeeeaaahhh...
Blah Blah Blah... Songs about killing bitches... Blah Blah Blah... Cadillac...
Blah Blah Blah... Cry for help... Blah Blah Blah... Something lame... Blah
Blah Blah... Need to go to bed... Blah Blah Blah... Stop the war... Blah Blah
Blah... Ragnarok... Blah Blah Blah... Something kinda creepy... Blah Blah
Blah... evil is good/good is evil... Blah Blah Blah... Joke... Blah Blah
Blah...
Black is beautiful... Blah Blah Blah... Something to make you cry... Blah Blah
Blah... Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah... Fuck... Blah Blah
Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah
Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah
Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah
Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah
Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah
Blah
Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah... I
love you... Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah
Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah
Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah
Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah
Blah
Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...

2-07-05

Quote of the day:
When you have nothing to say, say nothing" C. C. Colton

Thought of the day:
I wonder how many of my thoughts of the day are mine and how many are Johnnie
Walker's.

2-06-05

Quote of the day:
"Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday
afternoon" Susan Ertz

Thought of the day:
Last year everyone was in an uproar about Janet Jackson's breast. While their
were sane people who saw how silly and even hypocritical it was to be
outraged by it given the beer and hard-on pill advertisements that filled the
game.
Myself I'll take it a step even further and make the point that every year
countless children are seriously hurt playing football but how many are hurt by
breasts?

2-05-04

Quote of the day:
"All the gods are dead except the god of war" Eldridge Cleaver

Thought of the day:
Have you ever looked someone in the eyes, and felt as naked, fragile, and
powerless as a new born?

2-04-05

Quote of the day:
"Somebody give me a shotgun
So I can blow my troubles away" R. Logsdon

Thought of the day:
Make sure you're through taking a shit before you wipe your ass.

2-03-05

Quote of the day:
"It's not what isn't, it's what you wish was that makes unhappiness. ... I
think I think too much. That's why I drink." Janis Joplin


Thought of the day:
Can vampires make lower case T's?

Amanda says, that is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Especially the way it just shot out of your mouth that night out of nowhere. I don't think you know how funny you really are.

2-02-05

Quote of the day:
"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk" Andy Gibb

Thought of the day:
Memories are what in the past lies.

2-01-05

Quote of the day:
"There's no difference between one's killing and making decisions that will
send others to kill. It's exactly the same thing, or even worse." Golda Meir

Thought of the day:
Am I merely a footnote to those who make up chapters of my life?