Ryan's Mindless Dribble #4

MINDLESS DRIBBLE #4:

"And I know life is getting shorterI can't bring myself to set the sceneEven when it's approaching tortureI've got my routine"--Aimee Mann

In my new script I deal heavily with abuse and choice. They are two reoccurring themes that, despite trying, I cannot separate from each other. Abuse is a horrible thing, but, it facinates me. Why do human beings get such a kick out of abusing their loved ones, un-loved ones and total strangers? Professionals think it has to do with issues of control (in cases of pedophilia, child abuse and rape) but I know about fifty people, myself included, who's life is totally out of control. I kind've like the fact that my life is out of control, maybe I'm alone on this but I think permanent routines (addiction, marriage, kids, house, family, heroin) eventually lead us quickly to the grave and what's more permanent then the grave? Back to the issue at hand, abuse and choice. Why do women CHOOSE to stay with a man that abuses them mentally and physically? Why do idiots like me CHOOSE to stay with a girl for five months even though {selection deleted} and she treated me like, well, not like a boyfriend? Why do people CHOOSE to beat their wife or kids? The answer is love. Love is just a word. What really matters is what definition we CHOOSE to give love. Whether the definition is perverted or empty is entirely up to us. Then again, if marriage, kids or heroin leads me quicker to the grave, anybody want to get married, have kids or inject themselves with dangerous narcotics?I didn't think so.This is not going to stop, is it? It never will.My choice is MY CHOICE.My choice is not to CHOOSE life.My choice is to abuse myself . . .My choice . . .Ry